Birthday reflections

I read an end of year reflection by a young man this morning who is on a plane right now jetting off to my country of birth! A very good read indeed! I was wondering what I could possibly say that would reflect my own gratitude at this time.

The year has ended with the loss of a young man from our College. Trying to celebrate while sharing the enormous sense of community grief and shock is not an easy balancing act. As one whose trade is in words (I'm paid to use them, I've been told) - there are times when I too have no words. Just a deep groaning, the painful agony that we share. But then one more proficient in words once penned these: “Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart, and bids it break.” So I will dredge up some words in the midst of this deep sad space. So many people have extended such grace and care for me - and even the list of birthday wishes from so many is in inspiration and a huge help. Thank you!

There isn't a moment in our lives when people are not dying - where somewhere on this weary planet the painful tearing of loss does not rip loved ones from their lovers. And in the midst of these separations, tiny new hands reach out as wailing living bundles of joy are warmly welcomed by a mother's exhausted arms and caring soothing hands.

This is life. The loss of a young man - a child, son, brother, grandson and friend, is both tragic and terrible. We will yet move along this bumpy road of clumsy goodbyes and awkward questions laced with frail vulnerability. We will hold on to each other and hopefully - hold on to our gracious Lord and God of whom my many words over all these years have valiantly tried to redirect the thoughts and wills of very sharp minds and passionate hearts.

This is our life. How can we risk the agony of walking on this road alone? So as you share my birthday with me - take some time to share the deepest thoughts and feelings you have today with another traveller. There are many good people close at hand with compassion and listening hearts who will help you comprehend even your darkest days!

And shout out loud the celebrations - bold declarations that this life - so deep and wide and high and long - is full of loves and eager expectations, dreams and hopes which we yet will share together.

Shalom.

Advent

We remain people of the south. None of this wet white or sludgy Christmas with melting snow. For the last week we have had real southern summer - such a familiar feeling with real sunshine and warmth. I need a bigger hat! A-la the westerns of old, perhaps a cowboy version, having already had two sessions with our beloved doctor and her liquid nitrogen cylinder which reminds me of a shaving cream or instant whipped cream dispenser! The manifestations of actinic keratosis have been nuked! Of course its also termed senile keratosis which is a novel thought as my next 50-something birthday is next week! :-) Perhaps a larger bowling hat will help!

We have reached some milestones as I alluded to in my shorter earlier epistle. All three children are now post-secondary education. How we remember with exhaustion years of school trips. We are also in that peculiar state where we have indicated we are leaving Wellington but realise that there is still much to be done in the interim months - December to March! The waiting game? A time of preparation...

For this reason I have been reading again on parish/congregational ministry - the work of "pastor" with its peculiar demands. Appropriately I have begun with "Ministry Burnout" by John Sanford, interspersed with a newish biography on John Calvin! The first of these reminds me about what Gordon MacDonald termed "VDP's" - the very draining people termed by Kunkel (as quoted by Sanford) as "clinging vines." I am sure I will have lots of VIPs - very inspiring people!

My reading of the book on Calvin's life reveals a fascinating pattern which the reformer conformed to - he was hired as a chaplain and then hired a lesser mortal to do his job at a lower rate of pay. Thus he had time to study and research! An entirely acceptable practice, it seems, which I have sadly discovered too late in my work as chaplain here! Bother.

The Advent season here is not really adhered to by the bulk of shoppers - they are not waiting but shopping like crazy. The spending season has been rolling along. The anticipation of presents I am sure is exciting for the youngsters. We enjoy the Christmas traditions - they have a nurturing function in terms of the wonderful memories that are evoked.

Waiting on the Lord is another thing altogether. Tomorrow the bishop of Wellington is preaching at our local church. I am sure he will enlighten us all. We visited the Cathedral this morning and saw some amazing paintings by children of Gaza - which expose the raw pain of war and conflict and the hope of new life and peace. There must be much waiting for new beginnings in so many parts of the world.

We remember those families of the 29 trapped miners at Pike river - who are now waiting only for the recovery of their remains. We remember those who are waiting for employment, for healing, for faith and hope to be restored. From tomorrow's readings:

Rom 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

May you be blessed at this time as you wait on the Lord, and reflect on his first and second comings.