Good grief, or maybe not

I've been reading a profound book about grief, loss and death. It's subtitled "the shadow side of ministry" and it's by a catholic priest. I haven't really processed the losses of our most recent move from chaplaincy to parish ministry. I do know of a catholic school chaplain who was also in a school for five years. He reported some years later that he slept for the following three years in the parish. Recovery, or grief? Probably both.
I remember when a friend died when I was a youth leader."Back in the day" is the kiwi term here for many long years ago. Well Duncan died when he crashed his bike on the way to a piano lesson. He was about 18. It was my first grief experience in which I thought I saw him a couple of times. After his death, that is. It was quite weird and yet I believe not unusual. I keep having the same experience - seeing people from my previous work at the school. No I am not seeing visions, but rather expressing my sadness at the losses I am still experiencing. I was blessed greatly by a skype call this week from a student. It was so nice to chat and share again in the life of a young man who not so long ago was mourning my departure.
My book is challenging. We hide behind our profession - priests and ministers tend to be a problem if they cry at funerals when they are supposed to be comforting the bereaved. And people prefer it that way. They don't want our doubts - rather they like our faith and hope expressed in the face of darkness.
So I do most of my weeping alone. It would be better to have angels with skin on helping me in those places of deep groaning. But it's not like that. I will read some more and share more later. Spare a thought for the parents around the world who mourn the death of their children at this time.
My losses are not that grim. With the exception of one tragic death my clients are still alive. I have lost the privilege of sharing their stories. I will still have many in my heart and memory, and I can still pray for them. May the seeds sown in those years still bring the delight of fruit that endures.

The light went out for a while

I started my Christian journey as a Methodist in the city of Durban. So I was baptised in the Methodist church as a baby.
This evening we travelled to Mount Albert and attended the Methodist church worship service for the Synod of the region. What a lovely evening.
Am I still a Methodist? Great question.
So why did the light go out during the sermon tonight? It was only during the preacher's second point - where he was trying to explain the treasures that he held to - his second being that he was Evangelical. The light went out. Not sure whether that was the radical nature of the statement for today. Or was it because he tried to explain his theology of inspiration of the Bible?? What an interesting thing. A sign? :-)
Well the light above the pulpit came back on when the man started his third point. Hmm. A sign perhaps that things were back on track...
Great singing from the choirs tonight.
The question as to whether I am still a Methodist is still up for grabs! And the mystery of the light above the preacher going out during that part of the sermon remains intriguing.
I must check whether there is a light above the place where I speak from on Sundays. Worth keeping an eye on it.
Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit

Winter

I have only one follower of my blog. That in itself should not be too depressing. When I look at the statistics I have more readers from the Netherlands than any other country. That is fascinating. Well put it this way - they are my audience, but do they really read what I say? Americans and Kiwis follow them in terms of numbers.

So if you are reading this now - say hello will you!

Winter here would normally be a suitable topic for complaints and groaning on my part. This week has been a very pleasant one however - with real sunshine and temperatures of up to 15 degrees in the City of Sails.

A friend remarked this week that there is just SO MUCH WATER. Indeed this is true. We are surrounded. Mind you we are an island nation!

How's this for something exciting - let's see if there are any Israelis reading this. There is a bit of a buzz here over allegations that some of the people injured and killed in the Christchurch earthquake were Mossad spies. Well I never.

What this nation should be agonising over is really the spiritual state of the place. Here we are trying to get people to believe again - the whole place has a strong Christian heritage which has been systematically jettisoned.

Now all you Dutch readers - what's happening in your part of the world? You too had a great reformed history which was exported to South Africa our old country.

So get to your local Presbyterian church will you and discover the real life we share!

Greetings again from the wobbly islands. Let's see if my one follower has anything to say on this winter night!