And a Merry Christmas to you too.

(From the December edition of "Quad" Magazine).

Quite amazing it is that we are talking about Christmas already. Apart from the speed at which “time flies” in our lives, it seems peculiar to be assailed by festive advertisements towards the end of October. How merry we are when Christmas injects life into our ailing economies around the world. But are we really happy?

Our year ones and twos watched a delightful story in the Veggie Tales series about “Madame Blueberry” – yes a blueberry with a French accent, who was horribly duped into overspending by some scheming salespeople from a local departmental store. The plethora of goods and gadgets failed to induce a state of happiness in this dear woman. The boys were quick to remind me of this outcome when I asked them what they could remember about the term’s work in Religious Education. Stuff doesn’t make you happy, as nice as it may be to upgrade things all the time. In the case of Madame Blueberry, she remained so “blue” despite her goodies and goods. At the end of the story, when her tree house fell down from the weight of her purchases, good friends saved the day.

It is no real surprise when we hear from researchers that our forbears did not get depressed because they had plenty of sunshine, exercise, good community life (relationships a priority!), ample sleep and a good diet. Somehow the picture of sleepy children clinging to a computer in the dark, feeding on junk food and talking to people in cyberspace, doesn’t match this hope of a non-depressed existence. The boys at school look at me very suspiciously, of course, when (on those rare Wellington sunny days) I chase them out of the passages into the sunlight muttering about fresh air and the sun’s gift of vitamin D being good for their low moods.

So as Christmas comes along, beware the fact that our moods are mixed by a combination of festivities and memories that are painful, and the added arrival of equally challenging relatives! Like weddings and funerals, these important rituals mean that we get together to reconstitute the networks that once would have been common in extended families. The beauty of permanent extended families is that people benefit from ongoing support and have no choice but to forgive each others’ failings and work together! Our isolation in “western” societies has the potential of breeding separation and a dubious self-sufficiency which detaches us.

What’s to be done then? Read Dickens’ A Christmas Carol? Perhaps. A Scrooge-type conversion would make the world nicer – but it’s more than individual change that is needed. Corporations and the wealthy ones who invest in them, and in many countries governments and leaders, are probably all in need of a major transformation or change of heart. We need more than just a festive season as well.

The year will run its course. There will be many celebrations of success and progress in the lives of our students and their families. Well done to so many who have given it their best shot and more! For those who are moving on to new adventures and places, we wish you well. For all of us – there is the hope and prayer that our happiness will be deeper and wider, richer and stronger than the temporary joys of a festive season’s merriment.

The quest for meaning in life - to quote psychotherapist Viktor Frankl - the “will to meaning,” still rates high in our human pursuit for happiness and fulfillment. Frankl, a holocaust survivor, remained resolute in his thinking that happiness can never be a direct goal. How easily we fall into that trap, especially as parents, when we want our children, above all else, to be “happy”. This Viennese psychiatrist suggested that we can live through anything if we have something to live for.

Happiness is the by-product of fulfilled and purposeful lives in which we live for a greater power or cause outside of ourselves. At Christmas we celebrate the birth of Christ, described both as the light of the world and the desire of nations. There is no better model than his loving and sacrificial life, the one fittingly described as “a man for others”. It is this Jesus who calls us to follow Him. May you find fulfillment in your quest for a truly happy and successful future, and may God bless you richly.